Single Mother goes to bars/parties to seek attention leaving 12 year old brother isolated from any face-to-face contact while she is gone… and he is a latch key child. Summer hours he is alone far more. He is an introvert, does well in school, but is it neglect/abuse if he is isolated while Mother is gone Fridays to seek attention and Saturdays to go hiking, etc… One Friday, Mother was doing whiskey shots with a Man 10 years younger than her – while brother was isolated up in his bedroom, playing computer games. Is this good parenting?
Daughter, 13, good grades and active social life – few boundaries and Mother uninvolved to really enforce rules. Mother is like a friend. Father – in jail/homeless alcoholic, as Mother entrapped him into Fatherhood and gave him the ultimatum to be the sole provider… then, after 7 years, Mother got on her feet with a good job, began to devalue/manipulate Father and then abruptly divorced him – leaving him with PTSD. Aunt was scapegoated and left the whole family, because she though Mother was neglecting us. Mother would manipulate the Aunt into doing for us by guilt/pity, just magnifying the dysfunction, and her need to go “no contact.” Is Mother good or bad, because both kids get good grades? Is Aunt justified in “walking out?”
One time I disrespected my Grandmother who was watching us, and because nobody would apologize to my Grandmother for her criticizing the treatment she received – she was told by Mother that “I guess you can no longer watch the kids”… she also stayed home alone on Thanksgiving as “The Village” sided with Mother – that criticizing is bad character. Grandmother also received a 6 page letter from Mother’s oldest sister – attacking Grandmother’s character and said she should never criticize Mother. This event made my Aunt “the Scapegoat” infuriated and I haven’t seen her since. What am I to think? I think the world of Mother – my life is happy as ever. My Mother was also at a bar, when I was 14, and I had to have my Aunt pick me up, as me and my friend were left after a football game with no ride home. Should Mother have planned on picking me up, even if I went tot he game without having an arranged ride home? Or is Aunt over reacting that Mother is irresponsible and acting like someone who has a personality disorder (Narcissism: Psychopathy) Also, do good Mothers let children ride with Alcoholic Fathers who have a history of DUI’s, even if they sound sober on the phone? I ask because My Father took my brother to a movie, but ate and drank in the restaurant – leaving brother to watch the movie alone – he was 11 1/2. Do good single Mother’s make these choices? If not, why doesn’t the “Village” speak up for us?