Am I in trouble with the law if I disobey my parents?
Behavior that at one time was considered fun and mischievous— or just part of growing up— may now be reason for you and your parents to appear in court. If you turn an overnight with a friend into several days away from home without permission, you could be charged as a runaway. A night out on the town may land you a curfew violation, and senior “ditch day” may be considered truancy. These are examples of status offenses; an offense that can only be committed by someone under eighteen.
Your parents are required by law to provide for your care and upbringing. You, in turn, are required to obey them and follow their rules. The law gives parents a lot of freedom in raising children. However, it is not without limits. If the rules of the house are reasonable under the law—even if they don′t seem reasonable to you—they must be followed. If the rules place you in danger of being neglected or abused, you need to report what′s going on and get help for yourself and your brothers and sisters.
Photo by Valentin Ottone
Parents who have tried discipline (such as grounding or loss of privileges) and have failed to improve their child′s behavior can file an incorrigibility charge against their child. A judge will then decide what to do, from putting the child on probation to ordering counseling or locking the child up for a period of time.
Disorderly conduct is another act that′s against the law. It′s sometimes called disturbing the peace, and it happens when you act in a way that upsets someone else. Examples include fighting, making loud noise, cursing, disruptive behavior in public, or refusing to obey an order from a police officer, firefighter, or school official. It′s also possible to disturb the peace at home. If you′re disruptive and your parents′ peace is upset, you may end up in court.
Are you thinking about running away from home?
Approximately one million children run away from home each year. Another 300,000 children are homeless, living on the streets with no supervision, nurturance, or regular assistance from a parent or responsible adult. Many more youth are homeless along with their families. If you or a friend needs help or someone to talk and are thinking about running away, you can contact the National Runaway Safeline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929).
An interesting decision by the Arizona Court of Appeals was issued in September, 2011. In the case of State v. Boehler, the court reversed the conviction of Timothy Boehler who was charged with panhandling (begging in public). He asked an undercover police officer if he could spare some change since he was homeless. The court ruled that the city ordinance prohibiting panhandling violated free speech. “The First Amendment protects begging or panhandling when it is conducted peacefully.”*
*The U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in U.S. v. Kokinda, 110 S.Ct. 3115 (1990) was referred to by the Arizona court.
Hello, Destiny. Thank you for looking at our website. Let us know if we can help you in any way. Best, -Judge Tom.
hi
The “scared straight” program is not in existence in Pennsylvania, especially not in Chester county, we have had law-enforcement at our house at least 10 times in the past two years for our incorrigible now 15-year-old, the police department is sick of hearing from us, they will do nothing for our teenager, children and youth have been involved, after five unfounded reports of child abuse, they are looking at me to have my job removed because I am a school bus driver, and I am tired of hearing about how the unfounded reports of this child. She was shot to do anything to get out from underneath the rules that we have to keep her safe and away from the ways of the world. These kids are out of control.
Dear JMoses: Have you considered becoming involved by actively participating in a local youth group or parent supported effort to curb the problems you see with local youth? It takes responsible adults to rectify social upset. Your input may be useful to others trying to deal with these issues head on. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
I’m a single Mother who is being abused by two teens. Verbally, Mentally, Emotionally, Physically and Financially… I have been suffer through this for many years of denial. I’m first embarrassed and feel trapped in hopelessness. The “system “ is not set up for this Scenario.
Dear Mary: We are sorry to hear of this situation. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for families to be disrupted by unruly, disrespectful kids, especially teenagers. You need to regain control of them before real damage is done.
We have a few suggestions. Contact your local police department and ask if they have a way to deal with incorrigible kids. They may send an officer out to speak with them and, basically, put the fear of god in them. Many years ago when I worked in juvenile court, they’re was a program around the country called “Scared Straight.” It allowed juvenile courts to impose brief but firm consequences to kids that showed little or no respect to their parents. The program included a stay in detention, a tour of a juvenile facility, and talks with juvenile probation officers, etc. Although no longer called Scared Straight, your local court may have a similar program. It’s worth a phone call to inquire about this. We wish you the best. Your kids need a wake-up call to realize that putting you in financial jeopardy will affect their lives.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
I’m 17 senior in high school and my dad do illegal stuff but won’t let me go do legal stuff in the city like play basketball after school programs, go get a job I just got to sit in the house all day eating up all the food getting fat and my granny live next door can I disobey and go get a job go play basketball and after school programs without his permission?
Dear Eric: We’re sorry to hear about your situation at home. However, since you’re still a minor (under 18) the law requires that you obey your father although you disagree with his rules If you go ahead, without his permission, and do as you please, he could report this to the authorities that could result in consequences you won’t like. That could include lock-up in juvenile detention or probation until you turn 18. Maybe a clam talk with your dad may result in an agreement about the rules and a lessening of some of them. Or you could enlist the help of an adult relative or other adult that your dad may listen to for advice. Good luck.
(This information only – not legal advice).
I am below the age of 18, and my sister and I are running a dog sitting business and have been working for almost a year now. My mother has been restricting us from using our money and has been “borrowing” our money without giving it back. I quit rather recently and said I wouldn’t get a job until I’m 18 since she gets pretty much all the money that I worked for, but she says I have to get one by the time I’m sixteen or she’ll kick me out of the house for good. She has kicked me out of my dads house before and has custody over me, what should I do?
Dear Anonymous: We’re sorry to hear about your situation with your mom. Depending on the laws where you live, you may have few choices until you become an adult when you turn 18. It’s your parents’ job to provide for you until then. That includes setting the rules about work, going to school, driving, etc. You may not always agree with them but disobeying them can lead to serious consequences. We suggest you have a calm talk with your mom about this, explaining your position and asking for some understanding about your earnings. If your parents get along, maybe talking with your dad could help. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
can i ditch my parents at the age of 8? just wondering,
what can i do when my parents are rude to me, and threaten me to follow them.
Dear Citong: As long as you are a child, age 8, you’re required to obey your parents. That’s whether you agree with them or not. It is their job to take care of you and see that you are safe, loved and protected from harm. Any issues with them should be calmly discussed and worked out. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
I am living here in the Philippines and yet I don’t know their laws. I am currently living on my aunt’s home. My parents are in Manila and they are forcing me to go and study there and live on their house. I want to disobey them because I know that I will just suffer there. My father will curse me and I can’t do anything. Please help me, I’m only 15, turning 16 and I don’t know what to do.
Dear Geraldine: We’re sorry to hear about the situation with your parents. However, it is their job to provide for you until you become an adult. We suggest that you sit down with them and have a calm conversation about your future and your living plans. If you explain to them your concerns about returning to them from your aunt’s home, they may respond in a manner that will surprise you since you’re older now. You can also discuss this with your aunt or other adult you trust to see if you can reach an agreement you can all live with. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
Hi I’m a signal mom of 4 girls my 17 and 14 yr old like to leave with strangers they meet on line and dont come home for 2 days when they return home we argue and they talk back bad to me it hurts and they keep leaving the home not going to school aswell what can I do
Dear Carla: We’re sorry to hear about your two girls and their lack of respect for you as their mother. We suggest you contact your local juvenile court and ask for any assistance they may be able to offer you. Some courts have juvenile probation officers who spend time with incorrigible kids, like yours, and set them straight. They need to be informed of the consequences if they don’t turn things around. This could include charges, detention time, removal from the home, etc. You could also ask your local police for help with your girls to keep them out of the system. We wish you the best.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
I got an f and my dad has stripped my room to just walls I sleep on the floor he took ll my clothes and shoes hid them in the closet and drilled the closet shut and I think he’s taken things too far he’s always saying if i want to be a man fight him and it gets old im finna be 17 and joining the national guard is there any way that I can get away from him at 17
Dear Trey: We’re sorry to hear about your situation. Most states require minors (under age 18) to obey their parents as long as they are legally responsible for you, unless you’re either married or emancipated. Emancipation is not an easy status to obtain from a court. You have to show you’re financially independent and your parents must be notified of your petition to be emancipated, and they have a right to object to it. So, we suggest that you have a calm discussion with your parents about the rules. Explain your position, listen to their responses and hopefully you can reach an agreement that’s acceptable to each of you. It won’t be long before you’re of age, so be patient. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
My parents are really overprotective like they have a lot of restrictions on my phone and will I go to jail if I stood up to them and told them that they are a little overprotective what should I do
Dear Bam: As long as you’re a minor, under age 18, and live with your parents, you’re required under the law to obey your parents. If you disobey, that could result in your explaining yourself to a juvenile court judge. It’s your parents job to protect and nurture you as you grow up. We suggest that you have a calm discussion with your parents about the rules in your house. Maybe there’s room to compromise which requires that each of you understand the other and why the rules are in place. If you agree to most of their rules, they may ease up on some, although they don’t necessarily have to. Approaching a subject about discipline and rules without yelling, cursing, etc. is always the best, most productive approach. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
I’ 34 years old. I remember the days of having to listen to parents. JUST SAY NO! like they tought you in school. if every child stands up together we can finally get rid of this idea of police being supperior to citizens, and adults being supperior to kids. Let everyone be equal and no one can force anyone to anything. lets all just live in peace without authority!
Thanks, Big20, for your thoughts on this. It’s not so much an attitude of being superior to others. It’s an issue of guidance and protection from those with experience and wisdom due, in part, to being older. Kids, for example, need structure and role models in order to mature into a caring adult. In general sense, we are all equal in many ways. However, a child or teenager is held to a different standard when it comes to judgment, choice, behavior and competence. Once a person reaches their twenties, they enjoy greater rights and have greater responsibilities due to brain development and maturity.
I am 15 years old and i raised my voice towards my father aft he raised his voice towards me, will i get arrested?
Dear Trent: Unless your father calls the police, it’s unlikely you’d be arrested. This sounds like something that should be dealt with within your family. Have a calm talk with your father and try to settle your differences in a respectful manner. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
For the last 19 months , my parents have turned our house into a storage unit. Roaches are commonly seen, and mice can be heard almost any time of day. I want to move out, but I am only 16, about to turn 17. I go to Midway in Hewitt, Texas. I try to get good grades, but my parents are more concerned with me lifting furniture at their store. I am tired of living in the mess and so are my siblings, but my parents are controlling, saying we can’t leave until we have each completed a 4-year college. I know they can’t keep me past 18, but I don’t want to have to wait to move. CPS tried to get involved this year, but my parents moved everything into a storage unit 3 miles away, so cps had nothing to work with. We were seen as a bunch of kids playing a joke. Once the case was closed, my parents moved everything back. I don’t know what to do. I would like to hear your opinion on this.
Dear Donnald: We’re sorry to hear about your situation. However, as you already know, you’re limited in options until you turn 18 and become a legal adult. CPS should be involved if you and your siblings are neglected, abused in any way, or abandoned. Neglect takes on many meanings, but if you’re deprived of food and the basic necessities of life, a report to law enforcement or CPS is advisable. In the meantime, make the best of it and we wish you and your sibs well.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
Is it possible that my brother can get locked up for not listening to parents cause he doesn’t want medication.
Dear Jazper: Under the laws where your brother lives, it may be possible to be detained in juvenile hall, but it’s unlikely. He needs to understand that, as a minor (under age 18), and living with his parents, they are responsible for his well-being. They are authorized to make these decisions on his behalf until he’s an adult. A calm conversation about the need for the medication, and his reasons for objecting to it, may go a long way in resolving this. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
Can I be locked up for cussing out my parents in the state of indiana?
Dear Heath: It is possible, under certain circumstances, for you to be temporarily locked up (detained) in juvenile detention. If the police or your parents file an incorrigibility petition against you and you’re brought to court, circumstances could lead to your detention for a period of time. For more about this, google “Indiana incorrigibility.” Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
I’m not a teen I’m a grandmother to a 12 year old that fires us every word. Her mouth is very loose and very disrespectful to all that tell her no. I want to help her but don’t know how she lives with me cause she has gotten super bad with her Mom. Her Dad is not in the picture and is a bad man but she constantly throws his name as an escape says her stepmom is and would be a good mom well she lost custody of her kids and he has other kids he also lost I need help
Dear Silvia: It sounds like your granddaughter could use a little “scared straight” treatment. In years past, juvenile courts had programs where an incorrigible child (like the one you’re caring for) would get a taste of what it’s like once you’re in the juvenile justice system. It included a few hours of detention, some community service, etc. Most of these programs no longer exist, but juvenile probation officers often times will pay a visit to a disruptive and disrespectful teen to educate them about their future if things don’t change. So, we suggest you contact your local juvenile court or probation office and ask if they could help you with your granddaughter. You could also ask a local police officer about any assistance they may be able to offer. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
Hello my name is Tyler, I’m 15 years old and me and my mom are always in each others throats. I have a problem w vapes and I don’t stop no matter what. But it’s gotten to the point where my mom doesn’t want me in the house or doesn’t care about what decisions I make anymore. She said that she didn’t want me in the house anymore, and has kicked me out in the past. I can’t go to my dad bc he isn’t stable enough for the court to rule him as my legal and only legal guardian. If I went to a friends house for a few nights what would happen?
Dear Tyler: If you leave your mother’s home without her consent, she could report you as a runaway. The police may get involved depending on their policies in these situations. If they pick you up, they could take you to juvenile court where you may be facing time in detention pending court hearings. We suggest you talk with an adult you trust about your home environment. Maybe a counselor at school, church or local community center could be of help. Also a relative who would speak up on your behalf. Think this through before things get worse by making a rash decision. We wish you the best, Tyler.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
Hello, my name is Hans. I am 14, and my parents are continually making me go to therapy. That I do not need anymore. Am I legally allowed to refuse to get in their car, and disobey their orders
Dear Hans: As someone under 18 and living at home with your parents, you’re required under the law to obey them and follow their rules. That includes attending counseling whether you agree with the need for it or not. It is their legal responsibility to see that all of your needs are met. That includes mental health services. Make the best of it and be patient with the process. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
Ok so i am 15 years old and my parents don’t like that i’m gay and don’t like the things that i do that make me happy ok so i got my gauges today and i wanted to size up from a 14 gauge to a 12 gauge and they won’t let me they don’t let me do what i like and what makes me happy but they say they don’t care they i’m gay but when they say the word gay i can hear hate in their tone and just don’t feel wanted.
Dear Conner: We’re sorry to hear about your situation at home. Hopefully in time your parents will become more accepting of you as you are. Sometimes it takes parents a while to adjust to a son or daughter’s coming out. Be patient. As far as your ear gauges, as long as you’re under 18 and living with your parents, you have to follow their rules. Be happy with size 14 for now. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
what is the requarments in a home for a child to live in
Dear JJ: Parents or guardians are required under the laws in most states to provide a safe environment for the children in their care. This means a place where there is no abuse, neglect of basic needs for survival, or abandonment by the adults in charge. This includes adequate food, shelter, medical care, heating if called for, and other necessities of life. There are civil and criminal laws that protect children under the age of 18. If violated, the children can be removed and/or criminal charges can be filed against the responsible adults.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
I’m 17, my mom and step father take the phone that my biological father pays for because “they don’t like it”. I want to get my phone back for safety reasons and its not even their phone. Its not under their name either. If i get it back can I get in trouble legally? And my real father wants me to have it at all times. And my mom and step dad keep saying how they’ll kick me out if I disobey. What are my choices besides emancipation.
Dear Rebecca: Unfortunately, since you are still a minor living with your mom and stepdad, you are more or less required to abide by their rules so long as they are not putting you in any sort of danger. This means that even if your dad bought the phone and pays for it, your mom and stepdad can still decide that they don’t want you to have it. Perhaps you could try talking to them about your concerns including how your phone can help keep you safe, and reach a compromise that they are okay with. For example, you get the phone during certain times of the day, but when you come home and/or at night, you turn it over to them. If you disobey, they could contact the juvenile court and look into filing an incorrigible child petition, but that is unlikely. Try to keep the peace while you forced to live at home and see if you can work out a compromise between all of you. Good luck.
(This information only – not legal advice.)
I’m 17 and my 18th birthday is in 11 days. I’ve already graduated highschool and I’m hardly even allowed to go outside, each day things gets worse I’m verbally abused and get called every name in the book by my step father.. Its gotten to the point were I’ve isolated myself in my room everyday so i can limit the ammount of times he can yell at me for absloutly nothing, i just count down till I’m 18 and can legally leave but there making it unbelievably hard to even be happy… I’m depressed I really am, I know I shouldn’t be asking because I’m so close to being 18 but I just feel like I needed to tell someone
Dear L: We’re sorry to hear about your circumstances. Unfortunately, your parents are legally responsible for you until you’re 18 or emancipated. Even when you turn 18, it may be difficult to just leave home if you don’t have a job, money, etc. If your parents support you and you want to continue living at home until you graduate high school or have enough money to move into your own place, you may have to continue dealing with your parents and obeying their rules. Perhaps you could try talking to your mom and tell her how your stepfather makes you feel. Changes cannot be made if your parents are not aware of how you feel. Good luck and please take care of yourself.
(This is information only – not legal advice.)
I am having troubles at home. I’m 16 and live with both of my parents. My mother has a history of drug abuse and although she has seeked help, I have since caught her. It has caused me to not have any respect for her and I will admit that that isn’t the correct approach. Not to mention, I am a stubborn person who feels what I say should be heard. By stating my opinion, or giving my input on a situation, my mother deems it as talking back. I am being honest when I say that I rarely do anything that I could get in trouble for, but recently I caught my mother stumbling around our kitchen making a mess. I told her to go to bed, and she yelled at me. For her age, she is incredibly immature and acts like a child a large portion of the time. I recently heard her say “You don’t mean sh*t to me anyway”, reffering to me. She said that to herself after I walked out of the kitchen the following morning of the incident. There is more but as it is 4:00am, this is all I have to say. It’s all a bit personal and uncomfortable anyway.
I just want to ask if there was any way that I could, in a sense, “disown” her. Meaning, is there any legal way to have her removed from the position of my parental guardian as to keep her from having any power over me as an individual? Or could she be deemed “unfit” to be my guardian?
Dear Blake: There are legal ways in every state for a minor (under 18) to be protected from abuse or neglect by a parent or guardian. However, it requires court action or the involvement of a child welfare agency. That could result in foster care or other arrangement. Your situation is surely unfortunate but you may have to endure your mother’s attitude and behavior until you become an adult at 18. Then you’ll be able to make decisions about your life. We suggest you discuss this with a trusted adult who may be able to help you. A relative, counselor, or acquaintance at church may give you some guidance. We wish you the best.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
I filed disturbing the peace charges on my son as a juvenile… now that he has been through the army and changed his life around he can’t get a job he applied for because they consider it being arrested . What can we do to get that off his record ?
Dear Bethany: State laws vary as to how to expunge a record. Your son could google the name of the state where this happened and criminal expungment” for information about this. He could also contact his local court and ask about the expungment process. They may have a short form to complete and file with the court. It’s up to the local prosecutor and judge to grant or deny his request. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
I am 15 years old and live in Missouri. I act out and disrespect my parents and I know that it is wrong and there is no reason for me to act like that. My parents just keep repeating themselves telling me to get better and stop treating them that way. They do not understand that I don’t act that way but I can’t control myself and start hitting myself. I’ve talked to them about counseling and they just say I’m trying to make up excuses. They’ve threatened me about court and juvenile consequences but I don’t want that but I want to get better what do I do
Dear Cody: The fact that you recognize and admit your shortcomings is a great start. If your parents follow through with calling the police about your behavior, then you may get the help you need through the juvenile court or probation department. You could also call a juvenile probation officer yourself and explain your situation. If you’re in school now, ask a counselor about this to see what services are available to you and your family. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
Can a child be considered incorrigible for hybitual lying that is disruptive to the family that brought false allegations and child protective services to our home. daily calls from the school and bus driver stating disruptive behavior, disrespect and stealing from kids and adults in school and public. Our methods at home do not work, she will need full time supervision with stern authority figures. I can only think of juvenile detention as the answer before she says or does the wrong thing and splits up the family or be totally removed
Dear Ian: The behavior you describe may be considered incorrigible depending on the laws where you live. Every state has juvenile delinquency and incorrigibility laws. If you google the name of your state and “incorrigible child,” you’ll be able to read what’s required to classify a child incorrigible. You can also contact your local juvenile court, speak with a juvenile probation officer and ask about this and what remedies are available to your family. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
My wifes daughter is twelve she thinks she can act anyway she wants and talk to others anyway she wants is there a way to lock your kid up for a weekend or a week without it having to go to court other than the scared straight program she is just out of control
Dear Justin: We sympathize with your situation. Teen girls who become incorrigible are a difficult group to work with. As you mention, juvenile courts in the U.S. used to conduct “scared straight” programs in the 80s with some success. However, most have been replaced with less restrictive measures. Without an official court order, there’s little chance a minor could be locked up for a weekend or even an hour in the absence of due process. However, many juvenile courts have programs that deal exclusively with the incorrigible population. A juvenile probation officer may run the program that basically calls for a meeting with the teen where consequences are laid out if their behavior/attitude doesn’t change. You could call your local court and see if they have such a program. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
My 16 year old brother was arrested for simple battery against our mother. Our mother is an alcoholic and has been determined to ruin her kids lives from the beginning, but knows exactly how to play the systems. My youngest brothers father died when he was 5 years old. Long story short, she was intoxicated and called the police and told them he pushed her into a dresser and scratched her while being in an argument, which was not true because there was no scratch marks, meanwhile her 7th husband is recording the whole thing saying “this is for the cops”. He was arrested at 9pm and was not released until 6am and then made to go straight to school. My brother is a very good kid, he makes good grades, he’s never been in trouble with anything and he’s unfortunately had to grow up way to fast. Our mother insists on pressing charges and is threatening to take him out of school and send him to a boarding school in another state. Can you please tell me if there is legally anything that I can do to get him out of this situation and away from our mother? The only reason myself and my other brother got away is because of our dad. Being his sister, I know I don’t have the same rights but I will try anything. How hard would emancipation or gaining custody of him be? Thank you.
Dear Jessica: We’re sorry to hear about this situation with your brother & family. Unfortunately, there’s little you can do other than inform those that will be making decisions about his life of the family history. For example, you might write a letter to the probation officer assigned to his case, or to the judge. Obtaining either custody of your brother or emancipation of a 16-year-old is not an easy process to pursue. You could speak with a local family or juvenile law attorney about this. Some offer free initial consultations so ask about this if you call one. Take a look at our Teen Help Network for lawyers where you live:
http://www.askthejudge.info/directory
Good luck. (This is information only – not legal advice).
My husband and I are raising our three grandchildren. We have had them all since their births. Our oldest grandson is 14 years old, and he is very disobedient. His paternal grandparents gave him gifts of his own personal television and his personal laptop computer. He plays video games on his television. It appears to us that he is addicted to these video games. We have house rules which say video games are not allowed during school week, but are allowed on weekends specifically after sunset on Saturday. We attend church on Saturdays and is considered sacred times to us, so he is not allowed on these games on Saturday. Our grandson refuses to follow these rules and has spoken so disrespectful toward us concerning this issue. I warned him that I will have to remove this entertainment from him if he does not follow the rules. He angrily stated that we have no right to interfere with his stuff because we did not buy it, his other grandparents bought it. Our other grandchildren complain that it is not fair for him to be able to play his video games during the week and they can’t play theirs. He is lazy and won’t do his house chores. His grades are going down because he places his fun before his studies. All of our grandchildren attend a Christian school and we drive them there every day, but he gets up so late that it causes the rest of the children to arrive late. I wish I could place him in a summer’s boot camp to teach him manners, early rising, and responsibilities in hopes that he will return to us as appreciative of all that we have done for him and have been to him. Can you help us?
Dear Grandma: First, we commend you for raising your grandchildren. Now, the hard part: it’s time for some tough love. As long as the 14-year-old lives under your roof, he’s expected to follow your rules. That’s regardless of whoever gives him gifts. You set the rules for everything including his use of a cell phone, video gamer, etc. If he continues to break the rules, we suggest you contact a counselor or even a local juvenile probation officer to explain to him the consequences of his incorrigible behavior. Some juvenile courts have probation officers assigned to work with incorrigible kids as a prevention resource. One visit may make a difference in his attitude and conduct at home. Contact your local family or juvenile court and ask about this. We wish you the best.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
Your Honor, thank you for this forum. My 12 yo son has runaway over 5 times and attempted at least 4 times. He’s been stealing, lying, and flagrantly disobedient.
I’ve gotten him psychiatric help from which he’s been home just 2 days since his release from the mental hospital. He’s being medicated and yet he still commits these acts. Including today he ran off without permisssion.
He was detained by police when he was reported as a prowler. They released him to me without writing up any charge. He caused DCFS to study our home for purpose of a “welfare check,” and we passed just fine.
These are just a few of his actions in the last 5 months.
He’s making our home a living hell. While I believe there is mental illness, I also am convinced there is behavioral stuff upfront and most prevalent.
Can he be found incorrigible? If so, what is the likelihood he’d be detained in custody?
Thank you!
Dear Anna: Incorrigibility is a status that a juvenile (under 18) is eligible for – not an adult. Your local juvenile court may have a program that works with incorrigible kids. Check with them to see if you can take your son in to meet with a probation officer. Possibly the threat of being locked up will get his attention. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
I love with my cousins and they took away my privileges (I.e) I’m mot allowed to drive my car is this legal or illegal
Dear Scott: It sounds like your cousins are your legal guardian or have legal responsibility to take care of you. Since you are still a minor, they get to make decisions about your life including whether or not you should have access to the car. Perhaps you could try talking to them and try to reach an agreement. Find out what they want you to do/not do in order to get the car privileges back. Talk when you’re calm and not argumentative as that will not be helpful. Good luck.
(Check our Teen Help Network for more help and resources in your area. This is information only – not legal advice.)
Hi, I’m Alyssa. I am a 14 years old. A minor. Lately these past few months, I repeatedly kept getting into arguments with my parents a lot. Honestly, it is true that I can sometimes can’t listen. But I try my best to listen anyways.
About this, from 2 years ago, I ran away. Due to the fact my parents found out I was dating. I was caught by the police wandering outside in the cold around at 11 PM. I was sent home and the police spoke to me and my parents about my unacceptable behavior.
A year later, every time I do something wrong, my parents would make the problem big and threaten me to get kicked out. I’m already going to high school. Once my parents lose it, they’ll do it. But they said I can’t leave without asking them. My dad also kept mentioning an isolation room. I do have friends that have parents that would actually take me in and take care of me. Is this possible? If so, what would make it possile for it to happen?
I honestly don’t like being locked up, due to my anxiety and my head thinking about things I shouldn’t be thinking. No, it is NOT suicide. I get really worried about other people that cared for me since they kept saying that they REALLY want to help me out.
So basically, I’m just waiting for my final moments before I am gone… Waiting. It’s painful in my heart. And I low what my parents has been going through. I really do. But nowadays, I get threatened to get kicked out. What can I do?
I honestly don’t want to live in my parent’s household and suffer there, literally driving me nuts when they get mad. It’s just not right for me. I would rather live with another person I fully trust for several years… I just wish.
Besides, my dad wants me to experience the hardship. That is all I have to say. Please reach out as soon as possible
Dear Alyssa: We glad to hear it’s not about suicide. Whatever happens with your parents, it’s just a matter of time before you’ll be on your own. Now, about dealing with your parents at home. Have you tried to sit down with them and calmly talking about their rules and what bothers you. An open talk, without anger, swearing and hostility can bring surprising results. If this isn’t possible, you could ask a responsible adult in your life that you trust to join the discussion. A relative or counselors either at school, your church or local social service center are very good at bringing families together to get over the bumps in life. Patience plays a big part in all of our lives. It took a while for you to get to this point, and it may take time to smooth things out at home. We wish you the best.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
If i dont listen to my Mom can she send me to jail? Is that a good enough excuse to take me to jail?
Dear Jessica: An “incorrigible child” is defined as one who doesn’t obey their parents or guardian. A juvenile court may get involved in such a case and issue orders that you’d be required to follow. That includes going to school, following curfew, not running away, etc. If you violate the judge’s orders, in some states you could be found in contempt of court and placed in detention for a brief period. But it takes a court order to lock you up. It would be best to avoid all of the above and listen to your Mom. Make things easier on yourself. Try sitting down with your Mom and have a calm discussion about the rules she asks you obey. You’ll accomplish more this way than fighting her on every issue, whether large or small.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
Hi my name is Ed , I live with my parents , I’m 23 . My dad does different medical operations he’s really sick and I honestly need my space from him because I believe he is a toxic person in alot of ways . He tends to do and say things that hurt my feeling so am I allowed to say something back by law as it’s his house he is the home owner . So he keeps getting involved when me and my mom are arguing so by accident kinda I recently told him to shut up . And he told me to shut the f*&# up and threatened to kick me out there and threatened to call the police . What would the police have on me my mom says he’s an old sick man on diaylisis and by yelling back at him because he yells at me first sometimes can possibly give him a heart attack . But if someone yells at me don’t I have a human dignity right to yell back ? Could I really get into serious legal trouble based on what I’ve described , im trying to be a teacher so I really don’t want trouble with the law however I respect myself and how I feel and it hurts my feelings and gives me anxiety and depression when I let my dad disrespect me because we have an emotional abusive history. Do you see anything here ? Am I allowed to yell at him if he yells first or to be rude if he’s rude first etc ??
Dear Ed: We’re sorry to hear about your circumstances and home life. Yes, you can always “yell” back at your dad, but what good is that going to do? It does sound like a toxic environment as you describe and since you are an adult and able to make your own decisions, you may want to consider moving out and getting your own place with or without roommates. This may be the best solution for you. Since it is your father’s house, of course he has the right to tell you to leave if your arguing gets to that point. But typically, yelling at a parent does not result in criminal charges so long as the content does not involve making threats or possibly harassment. However, you would have to refer to the specific laws of your state concerning threats, etc. Now, if your fighting gets physical, then you certainly could face consequences for assault and/or another related offense. Perhaps you may want to consider speaking with another adult you trust – even a counselor at your school/college, a friend, friend’s parent or another relative. Best of luck to you.
(Check our Teen Help Network for more help and resources in your area. This is information only – not legal advice.)
so im 14. i am a ‘social media influencer’ with over 125,000 followers. my parents think that what i do- sometimes on my phone- is inappropriate… (like swearing) and so they took my phones. laptop. and smart watch. and over 400$ and they only let me spend it with their permission. i want my stuff back and i might need to move out. but i don’t wanna get in trouble with the law.
If you move out without your parents’ permission, then you could be in trouble especially if your parents report you as a runaway. At 14, you are too young to become emancipated, which is a difficult status to obtain through the courts anyway. We suggest you try talking to your parents when you’re calm and able to explain to them how you feel. Perhaps you could help them realize what it means to be a social media influencer, your passion for it, why it’s important to you, etc. Maybe they will take you more seriously and you can reach an agreement with them concerning how you can get your stuff back. Good luck.
(Check our Teen Help Network for more help and resources in your area. This is information only – not legal advice.)
I’m the mother of 4 ; ages, 3, 11, 17 & 21. The oldest is on his own so it’s just the 4 of us. My 17 year old is pregnant, on probation, not in school and completely out of control. She is so disrespectful and it has my household in TOTAL DYSFUNCTION! I have done EVERYTHING that I know how to help my daughter. NOTHING has worked or everyone has walked away. She has had outpatient therapy, IHT , (Intensive Home Therapy 4x’s) TFC, (Therapeutic foster care -twice ) FCT, (Family Centered Treatment) Level 3 Group Home, Holly Hill Children’s Hospital- 2x’s, Brynn Marr Hospital, MST, (Multisystemic Therapy) and Brynn Marr Hospital. She has been suspended from EVERY school she has stepped in…. some on the FIRST DAY! She calls me anything from a broke bi**h to a disability recipient bi**h. She tells my 3 year old to shut the f up. Tells my 11 year old she’s going to f him up and if she really wanted to she would f me up too. Every Agency, therapist, care coordinator, Child Protection Worker, Police officer, teacher and her probation officers are all aware of these behaviors. Aware of her taking a knife to school after coming off suspension for fighting. Absolutely nothing is being done so she continues these behaviors and her brothers cut up cause this is all they see. She was put in a hospital and I refused to let her come back home. The hospital released her to kinship but when she went to court for what was supposed to be a probation violation, she told her attourney she wanted to come back home against me crying ,begging, and him stating that our relationship was toxic. The judge ordered her back home where my boys and I are going thru pure hell. She is pregnant, don’t want the baby but knew that she was going to be placed in a another group home and the only way she WOULDN’T was being pregnant because it’s a liability. Other places for pregnant teens won’t accept her because of her behaviors. It’s so much stuff and not even the beginning.
Dear Dee: It sounds like your daughter is in need of some “tough love.” You didn’t mention if she’s been locked up in the past, but her time is coming as she continues to violate the terms of her probation. Even if it means having her baby while in custody. Those are consequences she is bringing on herself. For the moment, keep her probation officer advised of her behavior. The PO and court need to know about her ongoing violations. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
I have an 11 yr . Old granddaughter whom is defiant disrespectful rude and won’t follow any rules. What can I do or what can be done? I’ve tried counseling. Nothing seems to work or help.
Dear Norma: We suggest you try talking to your granddaughter’s school counselor about your concerns. It’s possible that something is going on at school that you are not aware of and the counselor may be able to suggest local resources and options for you. The option to file incorrigible child charges against your granddaughter should probably be reserved as a last resort. You or her parent/guardian could contact the local juvenile court and find out what the requirements are in order to file such charges. Depending on whether or not the criteria is met, the court would then schedule a hearing and the judge could impose consequences. Again, we suggest trying other options first like continued counseling and perhaps family counseling so everyone has a chance to hear each other’s perspective. Good luck to you and your family.
(Check our Teen Help Network for more help and resources in your area. This is information only – not legal advice.)
Hi I’m a single mother of 4 my daughter who is the oldest is giving me so much problems I’ve been involved with Dss in may 2014 because of false accusations my daughter made and had my children removed and I got them all back a week later ever since she has been telling lies on me to other people because I will not allow her to do what she wants she just turned 15 2 weeks ago she is constantly running away and staying gone for days and I’ve been calling the little girl moms phone she runs away to but I think the lady be hiding her there I’m so frustrated with my daughter and she keeps stealing from me and other people I work and go to school I have called the cops so many times they won’t do anything I only have 2 reports out of all that one from her running away and the other she stole my moms rent money I have tried grounding her and taking things she like away that doesn’t work and she also hits her siblings what can I do I can’t take this any more and today on my way from work she left my moms house again and she still hasn’t return she told the school officer,myself,and her guidance counselor she does these things cause she wants to and finds what she is doing funny um I’m only 35 yes old and having chest pains I don’t want die early and leave my children alone I have no one to help me I do it all alone and I am very proud of myself please tell me if I can file incorrigible charges against her
Dear Ms. G: We’re sorry to hear about your circumstances involving your daughter. It sounds like a stressful situation for you and your other kids as well. Yes, you can look into filing charges against your daughter. You could contact the local juvenile court and ask for information about how to handle this situation and how to go about filing charges. You also could speak with a juvenile probation officer to see what services are available where you live. Sometimes, a serious talk from a probation officer to a minor getting into trouble can scare the minor into making better decisions. Unfortunately, if you do nothing, your daughter has no reason to change her ways. Finally, her school counselor may have some helpful suggestions or resources for you. It may be worth contacting the counselor to find out. Best of luck to you and your family.
(Check our Teen Help Network for more help and resources in your area. This is information only – not legal advice.)
My mom is very upset that my brother moved out to live with his girlfriend who is pregnant with his child at 16. She told him, her mother, and child protective services that she consented to him moving. But she has been trying to get him locked up. Today he has court and we are unsure of if she is trying to get him on incorrigibility. He dropped out of school at 16 against his mother’s wishes but he still does his chores around the house along with any other requests she has. Can she have him arrested for incorrigibility for these actions?
Dear Kaitlynn: An arrest or any charges that might be filed against him depend on the laws where he lives and whether the police and prosecutor decide to actually file formal charges. All of the facts of the case need to be taken into consideration to make this decision. There is no automatic formula that means he would be charged with a crime. Each case stands on its own with the laws applied to the facts of the case.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
My mom is trying to make me play volleyball i dont want to i have plahed it last year and its not an interest i have i play other sports and i feel like my mom doesnt have the right to do that im 14 im old enough to decide what sports i want to play.and im a good kid i listen to,my parents get good grades and participate in a lot of school activities and i feel as if she doesnt have the right to make me do that and not let me quit too. I have the freedom of expression in the constitution and how can i express myself if im being forced to do,something i have tried and dont want to do
Dear Patricia: It sounds like you are struggling with your Mom understanding how you truly feel. Until you are an adult, your parents get to make decisions about your upbringing. This could include what sports you play and extra-curricular activities you participate in. If you feel that your Mom won’t listen to you or doesn’t get it, perhaps you could try writing her a letter explaining how you feel and why you would like to quit volleyball. Explain what you did here that you are already participating in other activities and why you don’t enjoy volleyball. If you think you could sit down with her and have a calm, mature conversation about this, that could help her understand your true feelings and give you the opportunity to be heard. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice.)
Hi, I am 19 and have a 14 year old brother who has changed a lot from January until June because he started hanging out with the bad guys and girls that do drugs in school. We have found many things in his room related to drugs and we threw away most of them in fear that if one day the police came to search his room they would find all of that. My parents are so stressed because it has gotten to the point that they spy on him to see if he goes into school and my dad after work goes around the school to see if he is around skipping. We have found him in parks, alleys behind some houses close to his high school, and in an abandoned house close to the school. In this abandoned house close to the school many students smoke here and he talks back to my parents telling them that he can do whatever he wants because it’s his life. He used to work and one time he lied about going to work and went somewhere else that we don’t know. We don’t know what is going on with him because when my parents ask him where he goes to skip he doesn’t answer. When he comes home he goes straight into his room and only comes out to scream at my mom to serve him food. One time when we found him skipping and we took him to school and asked to speak to the discipline principal & we told him that my brother was skipping with 2 other students and since my parents knew the guy who my brother is always with they accused the other guy of skipping school all the time with my brother. My brother’s friend is such a bad influence on him and we don’t know how to separate them because they always skip together and are always together doing bad things such as smoking. My brother has come home high and insults my parents and threatens to hit my dad if he hits him. My dad has not hit my brother because he is afraid that my brother might call the police to accuse my dad of physically hitting him. My parents told him not to skip but he says that he skips because he cans. My brother has been to a juvenile discipline school for about 10 days last year because he was found with drugs and they cleared up his record and my parents don’t want to get the police involved because it was so hard to get rid of the police back then that they don’t want to deal with that again. Back then my brother used to have a parole officer and the police would make him have drug test every week and go to meetings with my parents to learn what the consequences would be if he kept acting bad, but all of this only worked for a few months before my brother started acting uncontrollable. He does what he wants whenever he wants. He plays loud music at 2am just to make my parents mad since they can’t do anything to stop him. The discipline principal took my brothers phone away and gave it to my parents but that night my brother was extremely angry & screamed at my dad to give him his phone but since my dad didn’t give it to him he went into his room & he was some dumbbells and we suspect that he used them to destroy his closet door. He spray painted his trash can that night and burned it in his room along with making huge holes in his closet door and destroying a desk that we have in his room. Today he got out of school & instead of coming home he went with his bad friends to eat out & my dad after spying on him went to tell him to get in the car & my brother insulted him & told him that he would get home whenever he decided to not when my dad told him. So my dad left and now we have no clue where he’s at. What can we do now? He has about 3 hours now that he hasn’t come home from school because he’s with his bad friends that have changed him so much. Also, my parents are afraid of calling the police on my brother because my brother is technically an illegal immigrant so they are afraid that they might sent us all back to Mexico or that when my brother applies to DACA, Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, that it might interfere with him obtaining DACA. You can google what DACA is to have a better understanding of it.
http://www.uscis.gov/humanitarian/consideration-deferred-action-childhood-arrivals-daca
If we call the police how will they help us discipline my brother? What will go on his record? How will he be affected, can they deport him, send him to jail, or just simply talk to him? If we call a police will they just simply come talk to my brother at our house or will they make a big deal and make a report? If we file an file an incorrigibility charge against my brother will this disappear from his record at age 18?
Dear Older Sister: There’s a lot going on with your brother, and not much of it good. He needs a healthy dose of reality that your parents sound incapable of giving. They could contact the local juvenile court and ask for information about how to handle this situation. That may not mean he’ll be deported. Every jurisdiction handles these matters (basically, incorrigible kids) differently. They could also speak with a juvenile probation officer to see what services are available where you live. If they do nothing, your brother has no reason to change his ways. He’s getting away with this behavior because he knows he can. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
My parents filed a incorrigibility paper on me because I ran away because I was being abused! I went with my 19 year old boyfriend. I an 16 right now and I was wondering if I could get in the process of being Emancipation. I do everything around my house I care for 3 younger children!my adopted parents will not let me get a ID, learners nor a Job. I am having a hard time at home with them. They put my in a mental hospital after I opened up about being rapped. They don’t help me. The cancel all my therapy appointmento. They , are do be a parent to their other adoptive children. They are 9, 8, and 4. I don’t know what to do. Can you please tell me what would be best for me to do they even put me on probation for running away because they were abusing me. So I don’t know what to dom
Dear Kista: Becoming emancipated is a difficult status to obtain through the courts as you have to show that you are financially independent and able to support yourself and make mature decisions about all aspects of your life. If you believe you (and your siblings) are being abused, then you need to talk to an adult you trust about your circumstances. Whether it’s a teacher, school counselor, relative or friend’s parent, an adult can help you. You can also contact the police or Child Protective Services – the number for the national hotline is 1-800-422-4453. Good luck and please take care of yourself.
(Check our Resource Directory for more help and resources in your area. This is information only – not legal advice.)
For the whole weekend I went with my 21 years old guy friend an im 17 and asked permission from my mom. She said yeah but now she said she is going to file for incorrigible. Can she do that?
Dear Tyshawn: Yes, she can try to file charges against you for incorrigibility, but it’s up to law enforcement to accept and formally charge you with an offense. The police and local prosecutor decide, based on the facts, whether you violated the law or not. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
My niece is 17 and needs help my sister seems unable / unwilling to give her. This girl has always been a handful, and my sister gave up trying to parent her a long time ago. For example, my niece wanted to eat junk food which my sister didn’t want to buy for her. Sister solved the problem by giving my niece $300 per month, starting at age 14, so she could manage her own diet, clothing, etc. When niece runs out of money, sister just gives her more. When my niece got a boyfriend last year my sister let him sleep over and eventually move in, under the theory that “they’ll just do it in the car anyway.” The boyfriend, while out on bail for a purse-snatching, died in a car accident on the way, apparently, to another crime. My sister went into my niece’s room and found thousands of dollars of stolen money, other people’s credit cards (including my sister’s), stolen checks, and extra keys to my sister’s car. My niece admits to at least knowing about all of this, if not participating herself, but my sister keeps making excuses, blaming the dead boy, and failing to punish my niece in any way. When pressed, my sister says she’s afraid of my niece (who is loud, abusive, outweighs my sister by 50 lbs and has chased her down the street twice now). My niece stole my sister’s car several times, despite not having a license, and has bragged about it to me in front of my sister. The family thinks my sister should press charges against my niece and let the justice system teach her a lesson. But I am very afraid that putting my (African American) niece into the justice system will end in disaster, and we don’t have the money for other treatment. She’s seeing a short-term therapist until insurance runs out, but he says “she won’t change until she wants to,” and there’s no sign whatsoever of that happening. Are there ANY alternatives or programs you can suggest, please? And what, if anything, can be done to get my sister to start parenting this child before its too late? I have no children myself and no experience. Thank you for any thoughts. (We live in California.)
Dear Aunt Caroline: What others have told you is correct. Until your niece decides to change her ways, there’s little anyone can do. That may take a harsh wake-up call such as being charged with a crime. Once she’s in the criminal justice system (juvenile or adult), she’ll be required to follow probation terms that can lead to jail time if the terms are violated. Since she already sees a counselor, hopefully her issues are being addressed. Your concern for her is admirable but until she decides to straighten up, your presence in her life and prayer might be the best thing at this point. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
I need help I live in Az. My 14 year old son don’t want to listen breaks crew not doing so good in school.and runs away.the courts here don’t help. I need to do something.o he dose weed to
Dear Alize: You could try contacting your local juvenile probation department and ask if a probation officer could speak to your son. Sometimes, a very serious conversation coming from an authority figure like a P.O. can help get through to a kid the possible consequences he’s facing if he doesn’t start obeying the rules. Otherwise, you could look into the process for filing an incorrigibility claim against your son in court. Then a judge would have to decide what penalties to impose, if any. Good luck.
(Check our Resource Directory for more help and resources in your area. This is information only – not legal advice.)
My 8 year old son tried to have sex with another 8 year old girl at the beginning of the year and this week told a boy at latchkey he wanted to kill him with a knife for liking the same girl as him on top of many more normal behavioral issues all mostly linked to impulse/self control. I have tried everything to reign him in but at best it only helps for a while. The worst part is when he is with his mother he has very little limitations which pretty well undermines all that I do try to do. Incorrigible charges seem to be my only option both for dealing with him and his mom (other than custody issues which are also being pursued) I don’t want something to follow him around forever but I also want him to grow up to be a good person. Do I have any other options? Will this haunt him in the future?
Dear Ronald: We’re not sure if you’ve tried some extensive counseling for your son, but it may help tremendously. First, you could try talking with his school’s counselor for suggestions and further information. You’ll have to check with your local court about the process to file incorrigible charges on him and the requirements based on the laws in your state. Considering he is only 8-years-old, there may be other help available for him like counseling and even asking the juvenile probation department to speak with him about the possible consequences he faces if he continues to get into trouble. An incorrigibility charge stays on his juvenile record which may be sealed once he’s 18, so it shouldn’t affect his future. However, you would want to check your state’s laws first about juvenile records. Good luck to you and your son.
(Check our Resource Directory for more help and resources in your area. This is information only – not legal advice.)
If I am being disrespectful to my parents, do they have the right to hit me (punch in jaw, slap face, shove)? For example, if they get mad at me for not waking up on time every single day of the summer, and I decide to talk back with an attitude, can they legally hit me?
Dear Kevin: Every state has laws regarding parental discipline and the consequences when it crosses the line into abuse. Generally, parents are allowed to physically discipline their children but when the punishment meets the state’s definition of physical or sexual abuse, then charges can be filed. You can google the name of your state and “child abuse” for information on this. If you are in fact being abused, we recommend you talk with an adult you trust or contact the local Child Protective Services office or the police. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
I have a 17 year old daughter, that has decided that listening to our rules is out of the question. She gets up in the morning and tells her mom she is going for a walk, and doesn’t come home until lunch time, or later. She is diagnosed with RAD, as well as other mental health issues. We call the police if she leaves without permission, or doesn’t come home within a couple hours, but she knows there is nothing else we can really do to punish her. We recently found out she walks to the local park and hangs out until her boyfriend gets off of work, which could be as long as 3-4 hours. We are trying to help prepare her for the real world, and life after high school. I don’t want to cause issues with her record after she is 18, but she is putting herself at risk, and she is stressing her brother and sister every time she blatantly leaves against our wishes. This may not sound extreme, but it started with her, at 16, telling us she was going to run away, and hook up with her boyfriend, and there was nothing we could do to stop her.
Dear Steve: We understand your concern. You could contact your local juvenile probation department and see if a probation officer could have a stern talk with her to wake her up to reality a little. Sometimes when teens realize the actual consequences they could face for their behavior, like you and her mother filing an incorrigibility charge against her, they may reconsider ignoring the parents’ rules. You could also consider addressing the behavior with a licensed counselor or therapist as there may be underlying issues causing your daughter’s defiance. Good luck.
(Check our Resource Directory for more help and resources in your area. This is information only – not legal advice.)
Recently I was charged with incorrigibility. From what I have read, you need to be disruptive and dangerous in order to get theses charges. I am not either and I am never disruptive or disobedient in school. My aunt has legal guardianship of me and we disagree on a few of her rules. I was never dangerous or threatening her though. She said we were going to meet with a woman at the probate court and she would sign off her guardianship. Turns out, the woman was out to get me from the beginning. She interrupted me, twisted my words, and was on my aunts side from the beginning. My aunt said I needed to spend the night at a friends house of go to the youth home and I said quote-“no, I just want to go home.” And the woman said no you need to listen to your guardian, & I said “I just want to go home.” & she picked up the phone and called someone and said I was spending the night in the youth home and I would have a court hearing the next day. The next day she brought me to her office and told me that I had a choice of choosing a consent calendar for 90 days or going to court, getting it on my permanent record, staying in the youth home for some time, so I obviously chose the consent calendar. It says I must obey my guardian, do my chords, attend counseling, do community service, & things like that. No where did it say she was going to give me random drug tests, in which I am getting. No where did it say she can decide where I can and cannot go. No where did it say she can choose what I do and do not do. So now I’m stuck in a situation where I don’t know what to do. I feel as though I did not deserve the charges. I was not incorrigible. I would like to know what my possible options are. I signed that paper without fully understanding what I was getting into.Dear Cortnee: You didn’t mention your age but we assume you’re under 18 since you have a guardian and have been charged with incorrigibility. You have little choice in these matters due to your age. Disobedience may be considered an incorrigible act – it’s not limited to “being danderous or disruptive” as you mentioned. You’re required, as a minor, to listen to your parents or guardian. Once you turn 18 or are emancipated under the law, then you make your own decisions. Make the best of it. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
Hello, my name is John
My son is 16 and he has a runaway charge and incorrigible charge. My son is beyond out of control. He has threatened me and been totally disrespectful to me by not following rules. We’ve went to court 1 time and they ordered a child study on him. He’s putting on an act so the court will think he’s a model kid. I know if the judge just gives him community service which is what she said she was going to do and slaps him on the wrist after all is said and done he’ll go right back to his old self because when it’s just me and him he’s more disrespectful than ever to me. What do you think the judge will do in the end of all this?
Dear John: The judge is limited in what can be done with an “incorrigible” teenager. State laws apply and are followed by the courts. You can Google the name of your state and “incorrigible child” for information or, better yet, contact a local juvenile probation officer and ask. Some courts have specific programs to deal with these kids. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
Hi, My name is Carmenand Im 16 years old and have been under the courts since i was 12 but from me and my mother having a physical altercation. 2 years prior I was assulted and was in and out of mentle hospitals and was diagnosed with ptsd, depression, and bi polar disorder. The only reason Im still on probation is the fact that I talk back and sometimes refuse to do chores. I know I should listen but sometimes it just comes out. do you have an idea why they would hold me for something so petty I mean no one’s perfect.
Dear Carmen: We don’t know everything about you or your history with the court. Since you have a probation officer and probably a caseworker from the child welfare agency, talk with those people about your situation. They should be able to tell you what you can do to end your stay with the court and probation department. Be patient and try to keep your disruptions in placement to a minimum. Good luck, Carmen.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
I am a parent that has been dealing with my daughters behavior issues since the age of 9 she has been diagnosed with ADHD an depression. She has been through years of therapy, medications, mentors ect. She is now 16 I have spent the last few years at her school where she refuses to work an is constantly in drama an frequent suspensions. I have loss two jobs an had been hospitalized for anxiety due to her behavior! I am at the end of my rope! Currently she has been put on home an hospital services where she goes for tutoring at the library for her school work which she is refusing to do an terrorizes my household by doing everything but what she is told. I have asked the school for help but they say their hands are tied because in the state of Maryland she has to commit a serious offence. I’ve tried everything to prevent that but I am lost an cannot live like this anymore! Please help with some suggestions.
Dear Chanae: We suggest you contact your local juvenile court and ask for information about dealing with your daughter. Some courts assign probation officers to work with incorrigible kids. They explain the consequences of not following the rules at home and skipping school. Hopefully this will get your daughter’s attention. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice)
I recently went to the police station to file a runaway report on my daughter because I didn’t know where she was at and I was afraid she had run away, she called me while I was at the police station and cam home a few hours later. I just got a letter in the mail saying we had to show up for and interview so she could either admit or deney charges of INC.disobey. I never asked to file charges on my daughter and I do not want her in trouble with the courts. Can you tell me what rights we have?
you tell me what rights we have?
Dear Melissa: Be sure to show up with your daughter on her court date. You can ask to make a statement and explain the circumstances. Ultimately, it’s up to the judge and/or prosecutor how to proceed with the case and whether or not charges should be dropped. You can also look into speaking with a local criminal defense attorney. Many attorneys offer a free initial consultation. Good luck to you and your daughter.
(This is information only – not legal advice.)
We have a 15 yr old son that’s not obeying the fair rules of the house, is very disruptive in his high school classes and is using illegal substances. If we file incorrigibilty charges against him in Florida can we lose our parental rights unexpectedly?
Dear David: It’s unlikely you would lose your parental rights by seeking help for your son through the juvenile court. If formal charges are filed against him in court and the judge declares him to be a ward of the court, you may lose some rights on a temporary basis while he’s within the court’s jurisdiction. For example, depending on the facts of the case, he could be detained for a period of time or sent to a treatment facility under court order. In that respect your rights are suspended while he’s under court ordered placement. We suggest you talk with a local juvenile law attorney for advice. Many offer free consultations and that may be all you need to answer your questions under the laws in your state that apply to this situation. Ask about a consult if you contact a lawyer. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
In Pennsylvania, If i refuse to go to my father’s home and visit the police department myself to file a report, can my dad put my mom in jail for contempt?
Dear Kristy: It would depend on whether a court order exists regarding custody and visitation, what the circumstances are surrounding your objection to seeing your dad, the policies of the court and the laws in Pennsylvania that apply to your case. The basis of a contempt finding by a court is the deliberate violation of a court order without cause. Your mother would have a chance to explain the circumstances if brought before the court on this. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
Hi my name is Samantha, my mom filled a incorrigible charge on me a few moths ago, in just 19 days I will turn 18 years old & they have put me in foster care. Today was my last court date & the judge wants a report on me every 90 days till I graduate which is in May. I want to know if the night I turn 18 if I am a loud to leave & go where I want. No one can seem to give me a straight answer but I would really like to know. After the age of 18 can anyone have a say so where I go? Can I just leave at 12:00 that night & not have to worry about anything? I want to know that if I do leave then that they can’t do anything to me for doing it. Please help me. Thank you.
Dear Samantha: Every state has laws about incorrigibility and the penalties for being found by a court to be an incorrigible youth. You may become independent at age 18 but if you’re under the jurisdiction of the court after you turn 18, you need to follow the judge’s orders. Otherwise you could be facing contempt charges that carry harsher penalties. We suggest you talk with someone at court about this (probation officer or supervisor), a lawyer or guardian who works with juveniles. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
Hi I’m 17 years old and I have been with someone who is three years older than me for 2 years. I had parental consent until my mom found out he is a drug addict along with the rest of his family. She forbid me to see him however I continued to sneak out behind her back. Now she kicked me out of the house but told me that if she found out I went to his house after kicking me out she’d call the cops. If she did this what would the cops do? Do I have any right to be where I want if she kicks me out? I do not want to be emancipated because I feel that she will come around and I financially cannot do that. But for now I can’t be at the house especially if she won’t let me. Please help:(
Dear Chloe: Legally, you are required to obey your parents until you are an adult which means that if they forbid you to date someone, then you need to either discuss the situation and come to a compromise or stay away from that person. At the same time, your Mom is legally required to provide for you until you are an adult, so if she calls the police, they may tell her that she can’t exactly kick you out of the house. Perhaps you could try sitting down with your Mom and having a heart to heart so it doesn’t get to the point of her calling the police. Tell her how you feel and if your boyfriend is a recovering addict, point out the good qualities and the fact that he’s been sober for however long. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice.)
hi i’m mandi and I have a job background check coming up.
When i was about 16-17 i pleaded guilty to incouragable and disturbing the peace charges. I just had a job interview and they are running a background check. I turned 18 recently, and I don’t know if that will show up on my background check.
I got these charges bc my parents called the cops on me bc i left the house in the middle of the night to see friends bc they wouldn’t let me out of the house at all.Also i got disturbing the peace for hitting my dad, which they was lessened from domestic violence.
What will my future job see on my background check?
Dear Mandi: It is possible that nothing will appear on a background check. If you didn’t go to court for this or get a ticket, there’s no official record of the incident. If you had to go to court and you completed a diversion program, there shouldn’t be a record either. If an official record does exist, contact the court and ask about having it destroyed or expunged. Good luck.
(This is information only – not legal advice).
hi my name is tiffany. i was caught shoplifting for the second time…but my first time was deffered and i dont have it in my record anymore…does that still count this time??do i get in trouble for both times?? i regret it…it was something i did with out thinking and i dont know wut to do this time…i have court this up coming tuesday and was wondering wut i can do to get out on getting a fine because my family doesnt have any money but i wouldnt mine haveing a different punishment wut can i do??
Dear Tiffany: Your first offense will not be counted, but since you already completed a diversion program, it most likely will not be offered to you again. Therefore, you are likely facing community service hours, a fine and possibly a class. You could tell the court about your family’s financial difficulties and it may be willing to work with you by imposing more community service hours rather than a high fine. Remember that the penalties will continue to increase for additional offenses, so we hope you learned from these two mistakes. Good luck.
[This is information only – not legal advice.]