October 21, 2013
Judge Tom
3

Did this dad go too far in disciplining his bully son?

dad shaming bully son

Jose Lagares was the father of a fourth-grader in Killeen, Texas. The school had told him about several bullying incidents involving his son. Grounding and extra work at home didn’t seem to get his son’s attention. So, Mr. Lagares tried a different approach.

“I’m not going to allow my child to be someone else’s pain,” said Lagares. “We don’t need another Columbine … and I refuse for my child to be the cause of that.” One afternoon in September, 2013 he and his son stood on a busy street corner in town. His son held a sign proclaiming “I am a bully. Honk if you hate bullies.”

dad shaming bully son

Photo by WWLP

As you’d expect the response through social media was immediate. Lagares was both criticized and supported for his action. The next day he returned to the same corner holding a new sign that said “I am not sorry. Honk to stop bullying.”

Did the boy’s father go too far or was the punishment appropriate? Does public shaming serve a purpose? Do you think this boy will change his ways?

Judge Tom

The Author Judge Tom

Judge Tom is the founder and moderator of AsktheJudge.info. He is a retired juvenile judge and spent 23 years on the bench. He has written several books for lawyers and judges as well as teens and parents including 'Teen Cyberbullying Investigated' (Free Spirit Publishing) and 'Every Vote Matters: the Power of Your Voice, from Student Elections to the Supreme Court' (Free Spirit Publishing). In 2020, the American Bar Association published "Cyberbullying Law," the nation's first case-law book written for lawyers, judges and law students. When he's not answering teens' questions, Judge Tom volunteers with the American Red Cross and can be found hiking, traveling and reading.

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3 Comments

  • CAROL DONOHUE
    April 4, 2017 11:21 am count( 0 )

    I am NOT a teen, but am the Grandma of my grandson being bullied at school by three kids at school. But the problem is the father of the boy wrote down things for his son to say to the kid he was bullying, which now made it an adult was bullying him at school. It has been brought to the school’s attention, but it has not stopped. I really feel that the father of this son should go to jail in actuality he, an adult was bulling my grandson.
    Dear Carol: If the school won’t take any action regarding this boy and his father, it may be time to notify the police or the school’s resource officer. Most schools have anti-bullying policies in place regarding traditional and cyber bullying. Take a look at the school’s Code of Conduct and Student Handbook for information about bullying at school, school events and off campus. Good luck.
    (This is information only – not legal advice).

  • Kaitlynn Taylor Jakobetz
    December 19, 2016 12:58 pm count( 1 )

    I am getting billing in high school and they did not get in trouble for it..
    Dear Kaitlynn: Please give us more information so we can properly answer your question. Thanks. -Judge Tom

  • John Held
    October 25, 2015 7:44 pm count( 2 )

    No this father did not go to far. This is perfect